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Armitage III - Poly-Matrix
By Elizabeth Berkley, Kiefer Sutherland, Dan Woren, Wanda Nowicki, Mike Reynolds, Bryan Cranston, Stephen Apostolina, Barry Stigler, Doug Stone, Dorothy Elias-Fahn, Steven Jay Blum, Anne Sherman, Ellyn Stern, Debra Rogers, Richard Cansino, Bambi Darro, George C. Cole, Steve Bulen, Michael Sorich, Wendee Lee
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A bad few days...
DAY ONE!
DOGS!
Idiot puppy ate the cover off the book Jess loaned mom. Not a big deal, right? Well, probably not. BUT THEN. I go to watch my new netflix movie, and pull Little Miss Sunshine out of the machine. Ah, what a great movie. THANK FUCKING GOD IT WAS IN THE MACHINE! The box was pretty much destroyed by that fucking monster.
That and his farts stink so much I want to die.
KIEFER FUCKING SUTHERLAND.
Ok. So he's a great actor, and a fun guy. 24 is a fun show, even though it always makes me want to kill myself a little. BUT. He is NOT japanese, and can NOT successfully pretend to be (not that he even tries...) And for that, he ruined my day. Him and Elizabeth Who-The-Fuck-Cares-About-Her-Last-Name-I-hate-Her-Too
FUCKING SNOW
It was almost gone. And I was so excited. And then it snows again. On the day I was going get groceries. Grilled cheese for me.
DRIVING IN SNOW!
Cleaning the car, putting the sandbags back in the trunk, driving.
DAY TWO!
GOING TO THE POST OFFICE!
I missed the postman, and was desperate to get rid of fucking Kiefer Sutherland, so I went straight from bed to the post office. Yuck. I ripped the envelope and had to tape it back up.
ORCHARD PEACH YOGURT!
I got five strawberry cheese cake yogurts, four french vanilla yogurts and ONE peach yogurt, to see if I like it or not. This morning? ITS GONE!
MOTHER FUCKING AGK!
NO SUBTITLES. WHAT THE FUCK? I select SUBTITLES. I get none. I try it without selecting SUBTITLES. I STILL get none. HOW THE FUCK am I supposed to get the fucking subtitles off this fucking disk? HOW?
DOGS!
Whiny dog wont leave me alone. He sits outside my door and whines and whines and whines. I let him and he sniffs around untill I'm comfortable again and then he starts whining to be let out. (SIDE NOTE. Why is it that no one can spell whining? Why must there be another g in it or something stupid like that? Whinging? Whineing? Well, ok. I admit. It's a stupid spelling, anyway. But people could still SPELL CHECK!)
THE THIRD BEDROOM IN MY HOUSE!
The third time I rearranged my bedroom in the last week or so, and I've got one desk stacked on top of another to free up some floor space. I looked in the third bedroom today. A fucking TV just showed up on a wall that was previously completely empty.
I cannot fucking wait for him to move out so I can steal the room. One desk and all my bookshelves will go in there and make me a nice little library/office. It's nothing personal, but I WANT HIM OUT! HIM AND HIS LITTLE DOG, TOO!
PS! STILL NO FUCKING SUBTITLES!! IT FUCKING KILLS ME!
| | |
| It hasn't really been a week. Three days. School is... well, it doesn't exactly suck. It does suck being back in Wichita.
I have two computer classes, two AP classes (gov't and english) and one art class. At East.
The art class, Graphic Arts, may be either really fun or completely
suck. The girl who sits next to me is an eschange student from Sweeden
and says she will teach me some Sweedish. Fun, right? The Gov't class
looks cool. I have Mrs. Koch, who everyone seems to love. There are a
few people in the class that I know, so it'll be cool. Third hour is
Computer Systems, which I think will be an amazing class. I really want
to learn the stuff we will be studying. It's the stuff that Mike always
seems to know, so I never needed to know it. But I realized that if the
decision was up to me, and I had no money limit, I would buy a computer
based solely upon it's keyboard. Of course, I'm talking about a laptop,
where the keyboard isn't as changable. So, I figured I should learn
some actual computer stuff. Cuz, really, I don't actually know anything
about computers. I just mess around until it works. And if it
doesn't...I call Mike! Then I have AP English with Mrs. Chance. And all
the gifted kids. Minus Terecia (shit, I suck at spelling her name. I
know its wierd, cuz subs always mispronounce it, but I dont think I've
ever seen it written down.) for whatever reason and with the additions
of a few IB rejects. Everyone seems to think that it's necessary to
warn them that we hate IB. Maybe it's just cuz I've had a bunch of IB
friends or cuz Mike was IB, but I was the only one to realize that they
hate IB more than we do. We're just jealous and whiney. They've lived
through all its crazy quirks and shit. They know it better, and hate it
more, I'm sure. Why was that so surprising? If they just got kicked out
or droped out, why would they love it? ANYWAY! After Enlgish, I have
Computer Applications. We're making a power point about ourselves. Yea.
That pretty much sums up the rest of my year in there...
AND THEN! I skip out on lunch, head home, and then I'm off to WSU for
my 2:30 Japanese class. The whole transportation part of that is still
a little iffy. Well, whatever. Today, I drove to Jess', she drove me
home, I got a ride with Dad to WSU, Mom walked home from school, I
walked home, Jess dropped the kids off, drove to her class. Um...we're
not sure what's happening now. Whatever. The class looks pretty fun.
Today was the first day. Justin is in it, which Meagan had already told
me about. That's great, right? There was one surprise, though. Jenna is
also in it! Jenna is cool. She graduated as a junior last year. We had
Creative Writing together. I also sat right in front of a guy who is
also a high school student and I suppose that makes him think that we
should band together or something. It's a little creepy, but he's sort
of alright, so. Half the class is in it because they like anime/manga.
Good for them. The other half is 'into the culture'. What the fuck
ever. They meant anime/manga, they just didn't want to admit it.
Losers. I learned a lot.
Blah blah. Goodbye school, we hate you.
On to more happy subjects!
Like Winfield!
Of course, this is dissapointing, cuz it actually has a lot to do with
school. Winfield is five days long, from Sept. 13 to the 17th. I really
want to go all five days, because it rocks. But, two of those days will
end up being school days (the past two years, we left wednesday after
school-ish.). And my comp sys teacher is all DO NOT MISS CLASS! YOU
WILL DIIIEEEE! And Foster-sensei is all.... If you come to all the
classes you should be fine *creepy smile* Gah. Teachers don't like
students to miss class...And if I do end up taking those two days off,
I wont be able to be sick for the rest of the semester. Or something
like that. Ever. Wonderful. I think I'd rather have Winfield, though,
so OK. There's also the issue of Jess no knowing when she is heading
out. And she has class, I think thursday night, that she thinks she
will come back for. And will she take all her kids? What will she do
with them if not? See? A whole pile of issues.
I've determined that kids mess up your life. Never had them. And no,
this was not something I thought up all on my own. Jess said it to me,
in fact. She thinks that the best way to discourage teenage pregnancies
and the like would be to make a teenage girl (maybe boys as
well...though its much easier for them to deny resposibility and run
off...) spend time with a pregnant woman. Through the whole pregnancy
and after. Not all the time, but you know. They'd start to get the
frickin' picture. Sure, kids are cute and cuddly. But first they are
horribly painful and after the cute/cuddly stage, they are loud and
annoying and fast and they pee everywhere and always know exactly where
you don't want them to be and then they go there. And even in the cute
cuddly stage, you can't do shit with out consulting them. You can't do
ANYTHING. Their little life-killers, is what they are.
That is, if you don't have them at the appropriate time.
Woo. That was a depressing subject.
I don't think I know of any other kinds.
Oh. I did move my computer into the green room where Mike's used to be.
He left the desk and the printer, and I needed the printer so I just
moved on in. Unfortunately, it gets hot as hell in this room. Mostly
cuz the windows are hard to open and the door is usually kept shut. No
ventillation and all that.
So...we got a little air conditioner! Ben put it in the window and now
this is the most comfortable room in the house! That's crazy happy
news, right?
And I can close the door to all the kids (who are all over now) becuase
they are used to not being allowed in her. Of course, Sadie already
knows that I'm the only one in here most of the time and just walks in.
Whatever. At least she doesn't mess around like the other ones did when
I mistakenly let them in... Well, Angus and Milo. There is still a
drumset and an old toy piano in here. Milo played the piano, loudly,
and they both banged as hard as they could on the drums. Wonderful.
Then they did something that turned off the a/c and it took me forever
to get it back on and even then it wasn't right.
AGH! I'm getting away from cheerfulness.
So I'm gonna say I'm done now.
| | |
| So I'm too lazy to actually finish that last entry. To wrap up, Hayleigh stole my notebook, I went home, me and Mark ate dinner, finishing at bout 3 in the morning, i had a hambuger with blue cheese and shoestring fries. I emailed the theif but she hasn't written me back. Wonderful. Shit.
Other than that, I can't remember much of the weekend.
I bought some shit for Mom, Emma and Sadie. A bowl for mom, a Hello Kitty Angel doll for Sadie, and an origami cat thingy for Emma. Great. Then I got lost coming home, had some kickass pineapple juice from the crazy asians and spent the rest of the day inside.
Yesterday. Woo. Yesterday was pretty awesome. We went to see Little Miss Sunshine with Erin. It's a dysfunctional family road trip movie, but it was pretty good. I would buy the DVD. I could go on and on about it right now, but I wont because I wouldn't be able to stop before giving away stuff so I'll just shut up. It was good, though. Go see it. Now. WHY ARE YOU STILL READING THIS AND NOT WATCHING OLIVE SP- ... see? there I went...Stopping now.
After the movie, we walked Erin home and chatted it up. After we dumped her, me and Mark went to the pizza place for dinner. We shared a pizza, plus I had pasta and he had they're roasted chicken. After all that, I was definitely stuffed full. Woo. Then he was like... You want dessert? Want some cheesecake?
And I was like.. Are you kidding me? Gah. I could barely walk.
But walk we did. Back up to eleventh street (thats eleven blocks) to Veneirnos, where I bought a big cheesecake since I needed one anyway. They were out of the mini cheesecakes so I got a mini tirimisu and mark got some cookies. That was cool. I had never had tirimisu before. It's pretty tasty, I suppose. I like cheese cake better.
Maybe you think you like cheesecake. Maybe you think you hate it. Whatever, when you taste this shit, you will realize that you were wrong. Totally wrong. You have no idea... *dies just thinking about it*
Do you realize how hard it is not to gobble down the entire cake that right now sits in the fridge? Thank god that wrapped it in an ungodly amout of string. If I do start opening, I'll hopefully catch myself before I even get the box open.
For today.
I have plans to a) check out the fabric store for a something for Jess b) get a book for the plane (I need a new copy of Clan of the Cave Bear anyway, right? Remember how my old one fell apart? Ah. that was great.) c) get more batteries for my camera - one of them doesn't work for some reason and that messes up charging the others and it still doesn't work with only three batteries - which brings me to d) buy a flash drive for to bring back all my pictures - I was wary of getting one but Dad says we need one what with Mike being moved out (he took his with him and we have nothing...nothing...).
Anything else?
OH YEA!
Pack.
Like a maniac. Cuz... I bought a bunch of stuff and I fear that it wont all fit. Wonderful.
I really hope Mark doesn't work tomorrow morning so he can help me get to the Airport. If he works, I am sooo taking a cab. Because. Yea. Duh.
Right. I'm coming back tomorrow. Aren't you all excited? I think I get into Wichita at about ten or eleven. Wonderful. Then I get to sleep all day thursday, right?
Nooooo...Some stupid loser got it in their head that Rose needs to do stuff thursday.
And then I've got to figure out the school shit and gla gla gla. I am not really looking forward to it, I'll admit.
(the title is from the song 'Tim I Wish You Were A Girl' by Of Montreal. I've never heard that song, but I love the band and saw the lyrics and they were great and thought I should share them. Aint I wonderful?)
And thats it. Don't you love short entries?
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| And now all the athiests are gonna get pissed off and stop saying it.
That's ok. I hate them anyway.
Goodbyes suck, though. I am so depressed even though I'm also so happy. I had so much fun and wouldn't trade the experience for anything. Not even all the sleep I missed during the week and just made up today by sleeping until eight o'clock. No joke. I was also up until 3 without even noticing.
Everyone was so amazing. So cool. And the stuff they did? Oh my god. I really cannot describe any of it.
Kayla being possesed by 'Music Makes Me Lose Control'.
Chloe reading while we painted words on a sheet that made her look like Jesus or Julius Ceasar (whose initials are both J.C.) then pouring water over herself.
Deirdre doing her stand up bit about ritz crackers from 1982.
Diamond doing hers about old people, children, and the Grudge in toilets.
Katherine's cabaret about the sexy Christian Slater and how she met him and loved him and sang wonderfully with no music.
The puppets. My god, the puppets. The two marianetts playing playing tennis or something. The Hero killing the Villian and rescuing the Lady, all without words. the formless Japanese puppet who, as I interpreted it, waited for his dog, went to find it, and found it dead, carried it and laid it down. And emoted so so so much even though it had no face.
The improv guys; some was good, some not so much.
The best line ever, in a poem I can't remember from a girl I can't remember. Mother bless me, for I have lived. (EDIT: it was called 'Should I be an Athiest?')
The play, the last show, from Nikki, who refused to get up on stage, but was gone anyway when we got to it, about the girls who go to the prom. It was ruined by starting at the ending, but you get the idea.
And then, even though we stayed nearly half an hour too late, it was over and we were saying goodbye, have fun, good luck. And thinking that we will never see any of these people ever again. Or, maybe one of them, in twenty years, in Cleaveland or Miami or Mozambique, and maybe we would recognize each other, maybe we wouldn't.
My train group is bigger as Katherine and Hayleigh and Dylan are with us this time. Jean shows up even after telling us that she has to take a late train. We talk and I snap picture after picture to remember them all.
Dierdre's parents whisk her away as soon as they can while the other three girls meet Hayleigh's cousing Erin. She is Jess' age and has two children. We meet a fake-asian girl named Mary Moseley and go to dinner. Katherine and Hayleigh met Mary three weeks ago at another writing camp down in Tennesee. She is Korean, but was adopted at birth or so. She laughs for five minutes when I say she doesn't have red blood because she is Asian. We eat noodles for dinner then go to the starbucks in Barnes and Noble for dessert and coffee. Erin tells us all about there family. They're uncle David, the gay psychic. Uncle Kevin who went to German jail for killing a man while in the Army. Her brother who was sleeping with a married woman, and, when he found out this woman was also sleeping with her sister-in-law, told her husband. Over the phone. He Grandmother who made dirty jokes but was allowed to beccause she had been married to a gay man until he died.
and its about dinner time, so i might finish this later
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| Perhaps one day I will have a title that is not stolen from somewhere else...
Anyway.
Today we made a list of things that are always funny and I got to write them on the chalkboard. I was so happy with myself. I got to write 'formal farting' and 'old lady smack down' and 'crossdressing/mistaken identity/love' and 'M.J.'s transformation' and a million other things.
Everyone dies, and thats why its always funny.
Because its true. Not just people, but everything. Everything dies. Even the very air we breathe. It goes to a very specific place and dies, and lays about molding all day. The air, old and weak, floats down to the ground to rest and goes even further, below, below. It sinks down till it finds a nice comfy spot and allows itself to slip into the next world.
And the airconditioned cars seem like a miracle to you, but waiting in the graveyard diminishes the effect. Everything is utterly still. You're hair is soaked and your face is dripping. The air is dead and you feel close to joining it.
You pull out a make-shift fan to cool yourself. A few wispy gusts attack your cheek but do almost nothing.
The fan starts working much better after a second. More air is stirred up. It seems to be blowing across you're entire body, cooling your ankles as much as your face.
You drop your fan but the air keeps up its ressurection.
More and more the air moves, brushing more and more intensely against you.
You look eagerly down the darkness and see two bright eyes looking back at you, it's name imprinted on its forhead.
The air is still not exactly alive. It flees, perhaps. A dead wall, almost solid and unforgiving.
But another wall is coming towards you. Not invisible. Silver and towering above you, it is going at a ridiculous speed.
Coming straight for you.
You stare at it as if egging it on. Come on, I dare you.
And perhaps you suceed in intimidating it. It whips past you at that same ridiculous speed, just a few inches from your face.
The wall of air hits you hard and you close your eyes and grin, then the air goes back to simple death. Nothing.
Doors directly in front of you know slide genty open.
You walk into the air conditioning.
So. Yea, maybe that gives you some idea of what its like to wait for a subway in a New York station. Apparently, the stations in Chicago are not as bad.
Today I got to be Gertrude, the trophy wife of Donald Trump. (He's married to some chick, I know, but I wasn't trying to be her, I have no idea of her name or anything so. I didn't even know he had one...). I got pissed at France, made my friends go to France with me via the tunnel the 'Trumpster' built for me. Under the Atlantic Ocean. Deirdre was Mary Alice, whose father was eaten by communists and got to blow her nose on a hundred dollar bill I handed her. Julani was Shawna who screamed at everything and didn't know what the communists were.
Julani turned out to be a lot more fun than I expected. She was going to be the 'smart one' but she couldn't keep a straight face.
It's not hard to hide laughter in ridiculous gushing. (Yes, Meagan. Gushing. With a healthy addition of squealing, and plenty of out right screaming.)
We were the best ever. It wasn't about being the best, but we were.
Tomorrow is the last day and I hate it. I've had so much fun. We play games all day and write freaky ass shit and then run around like little kids until we can't run anymore and then we read some of our stuff out loud and then we try on hats and take turns wearing blindfolds and leading each other around. Then we're all in the dark and the point is not to avoid but to find. Walk at the same time, no talking. Intimidate with monotone laughter and wordless yelling. Bean bag chairs and dusty fingers. Pink lemonade and raisen grave yards. Fighting valiantly against music, laughing at the woman who had a thousand babies by age 33, all her husbands idea, she said, but they only kept two; Bertha and Bing-Bop. I think of Bing-Bop as a boy, do you? Questions for people you've never met and drunken sons teaching their hip-hop mother to hunt. Favorite part of the body, movies that make you feel like you're on acid. Frankenstein with a daughter than kills her sister, a woman who cheerfully murders her husband, read energetically by that girl who intimidates every one with her voice but she said I read well and that was strange.
God. Too bad real college isn't like that.
Is it?
Ha.
Optional homework, because there are no grades anyway. Jean says she is going to fail us and Nicolrae explodes. Without asking, I know she is an IB student.
I think vengefully about sleep, which already stole an entire morning from me. Three whole hours. Damn. I missed a chance to be a ninety year old lady. The first meeting with the pillow room. And who knows what else. Because if I had missed this morning, no one would have thought to tell me that some one got to write on a chalk board on official class business. I love chalk. Yesterday, I also lost my keys. It was awesome. I sat on the benches in the Allen St Mall across from the appartment and read about canal street and the holland tunnel. Jean gave us some shit to read from the New Yorker. It's not homework, you don't have to read it. If you don't like it, stop reading.
Jean is pretty great. We're train buddies. And Dierdre. And Diamond's dad gives us a ride to the station because the heat is killer. Jean lives in Brooklyn with her girlfriend Jess and their cats. She likes telling stories. A lot. Any surprise she's a writer? She likes talking, really. A lot. Dierdre is pretty cool for a wierd chick from California. She is staying in a hotel with her family on 42nd Street (Grand Central, remember?) and they are doing the tourist thing. Every day at the Bronxville station, she calls them and they tell her what restuarant they are at or whatever and she takes a cab from GCT to them. We also hang out with Katherine and a girl named Hailey (god, i have no idea how she spells it). Katherine is pretty great. She was Unitarian, like me! I don't think I've ever met one outside of my church though...or any one who is at all clear on what Unitarians are.
And now? Now my laundry is stuck in the laundromat all night cuz I didn't get there before closing. Mark's laundry is all laying on his bed because I carried my laundry in his bag, which I left in the place, along with the detergent. I have nothing to wear tomorrow, really, and I'm probably leaving way before the place opens tomorrow morning.
Yes. I see death in my near future.
And sleep. Gods, lots of sleep. Right now.
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